Mario

Childhood flashback time!



As dance crazes go, this one is pretty half-assed. Let's discuss.

After you take out all the cajoling ("Do the Mario!"), the dance is performed as follows:

Swing your arms from side to side

Take one step

And then again

It's almost a rebuttal to the Throwdown Hoedown. But go ahead, try it, I'll wait.

See? Not much going on dance-wise. However, the demonstration seems to imply that I'm missing some sort of nuance. See how Mario bobbles at the very end? Whatever I'm doing is not resulting in a loss of balance. I must be doing something wrong.

No wonder my generation is doomed to a lifetime of obesity.

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Thanksgiving

I realize I'm a little late with these, but social hygiene is always behind the times.

From this week's Bleier Screening:

A Day of Thanksgiving: Would you rather have no turkey or live in a Godless Communist Society?



Dining Together: Learn how to make your family glad this holiday season.

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Anniversary

It's been a weird day. Some of the weirdness and randomness was just the universe trying to say howdy but a good chunk was self-induced, though I tried to avoid it as much as possible. Truth be told, I'm still debating whether or not to hit the "delete" button once I finish writing this, but I feel like I need to get over this obstacle.


You see, today would have been my one year anniversary with Brandon. For those who may be out of the loop or who have just noticed the past tense, it's been over for a while. Officially it happened back in September, but actually the end may have been much earlier. Sometimes the "Sell By" and Expiration Dates are a bit different, y'know? I won't go into the details, partly for discretion, partly because I still don't have a complete understanding as to what happened.

Anyway, the day started with me receiving a copy of The Origin of Species: The Kirk Cameron Approved edition. I get to add that to my collection of unsolicited free religious texts. I guess it's a hobby?

We shot most of the multicam episode today but a number of technical problems, including micromanagement (not by me, for once), is forcing us to film on Monday. It's an unfortunate snag that allowed me to start feeling bummed out -- a feeling I was trying to avoid if possible. A few of us went out for dinner and drinks after the shoot which was nice, just not enough to lift my spirits fully.

As I walked past the front of Newhouse on the way to the bus stop there was a commotion on the path between Newhouse and Schine. I thought it might have been a pep rally or something since it is basketball season, but the News10 van indicated that something else must be going on. As I reached the crosswalk I heard someone call out for me. I saw Cyp, Kelly and Tim in the crowd. A number of people were holding signs including Tim, whose sign read "BALLS". This caused the Obie in me to amble over and see what the happs were. A man with a banner advertising an Ex-Gay ministry was being interviewed by a reporter as the students cajoled drivers to honk in support of gays. Good times indeed.

So I don't know how I feel about today. It's been at least two months, but I'm still sad about the situation. However, the sadness doesn't find its source in regret. I know my coming to Syracuse was a contributing factor to the failure, but I think I would regret not having the experiences I've had here with the people I have met.

This whole grad school thing is a process in improving one's self. An evolution, if you will. I'm hoping that by writing this I can now get out of whatever has been bogging me down. Thanks.

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Name Game

We're filming project two for my multi-cam class on Wednesday. It is a pilot for a webseries about a sex addict who opens his own dating service in his sister's basement. I'm one of the writer/producers for the project and things are going pretty well. Our set looks awesome, particularly the basement that is filled with the most random crap from the prop closet.

The prof is a bit of a perfectionist, particularly when it comes to policies and legal issues, so we've had to tape over some logos and brand names (despite learning in law class that we don't have to do that, but whatever). Here are some of the renamed board games we have on the set:

PE Ratio:



You and your doctor friends invest your payments after elective surgeries. Bet on the wrong stock and your patients will be abuzz!

Mouse Rap:



Bust laps around the board, bust rhymes with your homies, collect cheddar as you go. I got first on Lil Squeekz.

I don't play golf, so this is what I do as producer since my main job is pretty much done.

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Netflix Math

I recently signed up for Netflix and it has been an interesting experience so far. My main reason for signing up was my screenwriting class where there are at least 6 movies mentioned, 5 of which I've heard of, 4 of which sound interesting, 3 of which I should see, 2 of which I might see, and 1 of which I will actually see. But they're all in my queue, I swear. Of course, the only discs I've been getting through with any sort of speed are the TV shows so I guess I'm not meeting the original goal.

One of the features that I do enjoy is rating movies. I like that Netflix is keeping a tally of the number of movies that I have seen and remembered enough to give a rating. I'm over 300 now which is kind of a staggering number if you think about it. Granted some of those ratings include TV shows, but at least 90% are films. The best part of the ratings is that they will factor into an algorithm for Netflix to recommend more movies and guess how much you will like or dislike movies in your queue. The algorithm might need a bit more tweaking or more info from me: They overestimated how much I would like Obsessed (1.5 stars) and underestimated how much I would like Pageant (only 3.2 stars).

But then there are the groupings...

On the "Movies You'll [Heart]" page, films will be broken down into genres and listed with pictures of the DVD case and recommendations based on other movies you'll like. My favorite example so far: Stop Making Sense because I liked Chinatown, Network, and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. This blew my mind. Though I like SMS, I saw the other three movies within the last few months and I can honestly say that SMS never crossed my mind. Conversely, whenever I listed to the live version of "Life During Wartime" I don't instantly think of Howard Beale, red bicycles, or film noir. Though Netflix is correct in their outcome, the math is baffling.

Chinatown + Network + Pee-Wee = Stop Making Sense

I started looking at other recommendations to see how the math could be tweaked. Here is one example.

Network + Chinatown + When We Were Kings = The Thin Blue Line

I have not seen The Thin Blue Line, but knowing what it is about I can sorta buy the math here. But let's do some algebra:

Network + Chinatown = The Thin Blue Line - When We Were Kings
Network + Chinatown = Chinatown + Network
Chinatown + Network = The Thin Blue Line - When We Were Kings
The Thin Blue Line - When We Were Kings + Pee-Wee = Stop Making Sense

I...can sorta see how that would work. Here's another one:

Taking of Pelham 123 (original) = The Manchurian Candidate (original) + Network + Chinatown

P123 - MC = N + C
N + C = C + N
P123 - MC = C + N

M = Manchurian Candidate + Pee-Wee + The Office (UK Season 1)
M - Office = MC + PW

C + N + PW = SMS
P123 - MC + PW = SMS
P123 - M - Office = SMS

Really?

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Master of My Domain

It's time to take this blogging stuff seriously. Not necessarily content-wise since I think I already do treat this as a semi-legitimate venue for musings and critiques. However, I'm looking to create something a bit more professional in appearance and accessibility. I may have to forego the Rube Goldberg moniker but that's down the road. Until then, I need to come up with a domain/site name that says "Hey! I'm talking about TV and pop culture here! Look at me, will ya?"

This is proving incredibly challenging. According to GoDaddy every single one of my ideas has already been taken. Of course when I go and visit these sites the screen is either "This has been parked by GoDaddy!" or just a splash screen that amounts to "Neener neener neener! This domain is mine, bitches!"

Not cool, yo.

I have a feeling landing a .com is going to be next to impossible unless I come up with a title that is incredibly obscure, but that somewhat defeats the purpose of putting out money for a bit more exposure. For some reason I have an aversion to .net, as if I'm getting the store brand, which is weird since I usually buy the store brand anyway. Wait a minute...dammit, wegmans.com is already taken.

The name I wanted was whatchawatching.com, since I think that does a pretty good job of encapsulating all the items I blog about. Both the .com and .net are taken, so I either have to go with .us (which isn't catchy) or come up with something else. huluhoop is taken, vastwasteland and thevastwasteland are both taken, even thehapps.org has been absorbed. I'm debating incorporating "WTF" (as in WTF Little House on the Prairie), but I feel like that might be shooting myself in the foot.

Help?

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Lose-Lose

I have a really complicated relationship with The Biggest Loser. On its face, the premise of the show is somewhat noble -- helping the morbidly obese regain control of their lives. There is also the added benefit that viewers are inspired to take control of their own weight issues.

However, this nobility encounters conflict since this is an elimination based reality show. This has been highlighted in this past week's episode...


Despite its title, The Biggest Loser is not a meritocracy. It is on finale night, but until the final weigh-in there is strategery afoot throughout the process. As someone who has struggled with weight issues, I have come to learn that extrinsic rewards are not the way to achieve long-term success. You need to have an intrinsic desire to succeed and keep the weight off. I love watching the contestants flip out with excitement when they lose double digits in a single weigh-in, but then when it gets to voting off a contestant the discussion turns into who is perceived as a "threat". What does that even mean in this context? The only definition that seems to apply is "this person has a greater intrinsic drive than me and therefore does not require the extrinsic reward that is my motivation."

I didn't start watching this season until my friend KDT tweeted: "I hate to feel this emotionally involved in The Biggest Loser... but I am." We then proceeded to have the following conversation about the contestant Tracey:

K: are you watching? I can't believe Trac(y/i/ie/ee) would do this to Coach Mo!
M: I just started watching...like, as soon as I read your tweet. There is nothing competing against it on Tuesdays. Help me.....
K: also, she totally shot herself in the foot. Ugh.
M: She does have crazy eyes...awesome. [...] She meaning Traceeee and Jillian.
K: indeed, sir. indeed.

From what I gathered from the repetitive nature of the two-hour episode (aside: really, NBC?) the theme for this week was "choices". Tracey chose to give up access to trainers for both her and her partner Mo to get a two-pound advantage at the weigh-in. Later, there was a temptation challenge involving cupcakes. Whichever contestant ate the most cupcakes in ten minutes would get to choose one person on each team to be that teams sole representative at the weigh-in. At this point meritocracy only applied to the green team who won this week's immunity challenge.

At the weigh-in, Tracey selected the contestants who were generally less successful during workouts for the week, including people that she assured she would not select. Frankly, the type of gameplay exhibited here is a rare occurrence on reality TV. The only other example that jumps to mind is Wendy Pepper from the first season of Project Runway -- utilizing whatever advantage or foothold becomes available because there is no talent or ability to hang their hat on. It is fascinating from a reality television drama perspective, but the consequences in this case go beyond winning a talent show. The people who are successful at achieving the aims of the show lose the game while those who lose are the ones who prosper.

That doesn't seem right.

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Hank-y panky

You saw the movie Memento, right? Fantastic film: I highly recommend it. For those who haven't seen it, the premise is that the main character is trying to solve the mystery of his wife's murder but he suffers from short-term memory loss.

Now, did you see the new Kelsey Grammer sitcom Hank on Wednesday? It is horrible. How bad? This afternoon I watched the pilot before my screenwriting class. In class today we watched Deliverance. There were more genuine laughs during that movie than during the 23 minutes I suffered through Hank.

What does Memento have to do with this?


Well, from what I could gather from the bad acting and clunky story (it is a pilot episode after all), Kelsey Grammer's character is perpetually a fish out of water. But not in the sense that the Beverly Hillbillies were fish out water -- they eventually adapted to their environment in certain ways. I mean that each scene revolved around Hank being discombobulated by the conditions of the scene. I think that could be an interesting concept, but that is not the premise of the show.

The premise is that Hank was ousted from the board of directors of some downsized New York company. For whatever reason he did not get a golden parachute, did not liquidate any of his assets, and for some reason is not able to get another job in the city. As a result he has to move his family down to Virginia near his brother. Sure, why not?

The thing is, Hank is only able to function in a corporate board room setting. For example, he instructs his wife to keep minutes at a family meeting. You know, The Simpsons stopped doing family meetings because none of the writers' families ever did family meetings and it seemed contrived. The family on this show felt the meeting was contrived and the (insane) laugh track makes the entire scene feel contrived.

The problems don't stop there. Due to their king size bed not fitting in the stairwell, Hank and his wife are stuck in a fire engine bed for the time being (yeah, I know). There were so many things that were just unsettling in this scene. First, there is zero chemistry between Hank and his wife. His complaint in the close quarters: "You're breathing on me." Unless halitosis or fire is involved, I don't think that is generally considered a bad thing, particularly if it is your spouse. Hank's wife (sorry, I don't remember her name and I am not watching it again) is also wearing earrings and what looks like a day-to-evening ensemble from Project Runway. As I tried to puzzle my way through the weird wardrobe selection, the couple spontaneously engages in a fit of passion. No organic catalyst whatsoever.

One of my friends in my program is doing a TV research project related to laugh tracks. I mentioned this show and he asked me how many episodes I think it will last. My answer: already at least half an episode longer than it should have. If only this could be erased from my short term memory.

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This Week in TRF

Here's a highlight reel of what was covered in class this week in TRF:

My law class:



More videos to follow...



My research class -- specifically my group's research topic:

http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?vid=162112

A preview of our next project in Multicam:

Good Cop, Baby Cop from Will Ferrell

And what I get to watch in Dramatic Writing (sans Kids in the Hall):

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YORRRRRR!

I'm really enjoying my Tuesdays this semester. I have my law class at 11 am and then I'm done for the day. Except for the Tuesday screenings at Thompson's office. They have been a bit of a mixed bag, which is kind of the point. The first screening (which I wasn't able to stay for much of) featured Walter Cronkite and Don Hewitt. Last week we watched the first and only episode of the 1986 version of the Jay Leno Show. That was horrendous. As far as we know Thompson has the only surviving copy -- even IMDB disavows any knowledge that it exists. Really, it is that dreadful.

Today we continued with the dreadful theme with a screening of Yor: The Hunter from the Future...


This movie almost defies description. The good news is there is a fan riff track available. Here's a preview:



The guy above is pretty chatty, but we were making our own comments throughout as well. Such as when the blind leader of the resistance movement from the future is introduced and shots are filmed from that character's point of view. Let me repeat: They filmed shots from the BLIND person's POINT OF VIEW. Then they showed him groping for the buttons on a control console later. At least they maintained continuity?

The best part was the theme song, which can be heard here.

I don't think this movie is helping in the cinePHAIL project, but it is giving me confidence that whatever screenplay I write this semester will probably be better than this. And this script was produced!

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