Comments

I just finished reading an article on Yahoo News from U.S. News and World Report mentioning more unemployment doom and gloom. Here is the first comment at the end of the article:

"president kennedy was a real hero,the others are just puppets... most politicians today are nothing but fat dirty rats,especially republicans they brain washyou and used u and abused you...it will get worst,starting with arizona "amaricas bigest embarrasment in history>>1070".."

Um, [sic].

Things not mentioned in the article:

President Kennedy

Heroes

Politicians

Republicans

Arizona

Yahoo's default setting is to have the most recent comment posted first, so this is joining in the conversation mid-stream. Let's take a look at the actual first comment:

"Here are the 5 real reasons why companies aren't hiring...

1) obama

2) pelosi

3) dodd

4) Franks

5) Geithner"

Sigh.

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Not really OK, Cupid

"We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users. The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you'd like to know."

Um, thanks. I had no idea.

"How can we say this with confidence? We've tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people's reactions to you in QuickMatch and Quiver."

Oh, so it's simply mathematical? Whew, I thought I was going to have to go through yet another body image crisis.

"Your new elite status comes with one important privilege:
You will now see more attractive people in your match results."

Wait, what? So before random stalker dude clicked on my profile, possibly by accident, I was getting what y'all consider to be the less desirable selections? And now that I've hit some arbitrary benchmark y'all have so graciously bumped me into the VIP section? That's not weird or offensive.

"This new status won't affect your actual match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But the people we recommend will be more attractive. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results."

Yeah, still kinda offensive.

Also, considering my track record with your site has been less than stellar, I'm not really brimming with enthusiasm about crashing and burning with teh pretty.

Not Ok, Cupid, not OK.

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LAX? I wouldn't say it's lax...

This past Saturday I went to a professional lacrosse game. There are a number of items in the phrase "professional lacrosse game" that need to be discussed. First, can I get a show of hands of people who knew there was such a thing as professional lacrosse? (It doesn't count if you wandered over here by clicking "I feel lucky", but welcome!) Honestly, I didn't even know lacrosse was played much outside of Canada until I went to Oberlin. I also didn't know it was kind of a big deal until I got to Syracuse -- the current reigning champions for men's lacrosse. The concept of a professional league didn't enter my mind until I received an invitation to go Saturday morning.


For those unfamiliar with the game it's basically hockey but played on a field, but it is NOT field hockey. Unlike hockey, there is a thirty second shot clock. Also, it seems all physical contact is allowed as long as it ranks above "sucker punch". I'm sure there are nuances that I am completely missing, but that's what I picked up from my crash course. Really, I want to figure out what some of the ref signals mean, such as the patting on the head or the "Single Ladies" hand waggle (I am not making these up).

Another important item to note: Lacrosse fans are deadly serious about the game. There was a superfan sitting a few rows in front of me who was at full throttle once the clock started. I immediately got the "often ejected from kickball games" vibe from him, but it didn't seem like he was a drunken sports fan. In fact, I kept checking the level on his beer glass and it looked like he didn't touch his drink the entire first half, so his passion was either mostly pure or he has a strong pregaming regimen. Although the other people around me weren't as exuberant as this guy, they all had a number of seemingly informed comments about the quality of play.

What also struck me about the game was the constant soundtrack. I've been to a few hockey games and basketball games and music will play during timeouts, station breaks, intermissions, and to introduce penalties. Music played during the entire game with tracks changing whenever teams switched possession.

All in all, it was a pretty entertaining evening. The home team, the Rochester Knighthawks, didn't win but it was really cool to watch. I would recommend going to a game if you get a chance, but there are only 11 teams and half of them are in Canada so chances are there is not a team near you.

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Super Ga[y]me

You may have heard this story about CBS not showing a particular ad during the Super Bowl:



I am not a fan of the headache this ad is causing or going to cause.


This is one of those situations where no matter what side of the issue you stand, there are no winners. Gay rights advocates are crying about discrimination, which is fair if the politics behind such an ad are a factor in their decision to reject the ad. But let's flip this around: if CBS decided to run the ad what would gay rights advocates say?

I find the ad to be stupid, unrealistic and borderline offensive. Stupid because gay porn has more subtext than what is going on in this ad. Unrealistic because those two guys would never hook up in real life. Borderline offensive because of the reaction of the third person who I read as being the liaison for the audience. And that's not even including the issue of how gay people are often portrayed in the media as oversexed hedonists. Frankly, I'm glad that this ad will not be entering my headspace on Sunday.

But this is going to be politicized, like it or not. If eHarmony gets to advertise on national broadcast television, ManCrunch should be allowed to as well. But I don't think gimmicky kerfuffles are the way to go about achieving equality.

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Thanksgiving

I realize I'm a little late with these, but social hygiene is always behind the times.

From this week's Bleier Screening:

A Day of Thanksgiving: Would you rather have no turkey or live in a Godless Communist Society?



Dining Together: Learn how to make your family glad this holiday season.

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Netflix Math

I recently signed up for Netflix and it has been an interesting experience so far. My main reason for signing up was my screenwriting class where there are at least 6 movies mentioned, 5 of which I've heard of, 4 of which sound interesting, 3 of which I should see, 2 of which I might see, and 1 of which I will actually see. But they're all in my queue, I swear. Of course, the only discs I've been getting through with any sort of speed are the TV shows so I guess I'm not meeting the original goal.

One of the features that I do enjoy is rating movies. I like that Netflix is keeping a tally of the number of movies that I have seen and remembered enough to give a rating. I'm over 300 now which is kind of a staggering number if you think about it. Granted some of those ratings include TV shows, but at least 90% are films. The best part of the ratings is that they will factor into an algorithm for Netflix to recommend more movies and guess how much you will like or dislike movies in your queue. The algorithm might need a bit more tweaking or more info from me: They overestimated how much I would like Obsessed (1.5 stars) and underestimated how much I would like Pageant (only 3.2 stars).

But then there are the groupings...

On the "Movies You'll [Heart]" page, films will be broken down into genres and listed with pictures of the DVD case and recommendations based on other movies you'll like. My favorite example so far: Stop Making Sense because I liked Chinatown, Network, and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. This blew my mind. Though I like SMS, I saw the other three movies within the last few months and I can honestly say that SMS never crossed my mind. Conversely, whenever I listed to the live version of "Life During Wartime" I don't instantly think of Howard Beale, red bicycles, or film noir. Though Netflix is correct in their outcome, the math is baffling.

Chinatown + Network + Pee-Wee = Stop Making Sense

I started looking at other recommendations to see how the math could be tweaked. Here is one example.

Network + Chinatown + When We Were Kings = The Thin Blue Line

I have not seen The Thin Blue Line, but knowing what it is about I can sorta buy the math here. But let's do some algebra:

Network + Chinatown = The Thin Blue Line - When We Were Kings
Network + Chinatown = Chinatown + Network
Chinatown + Network = The Thin Blue Line - When We Were Kings
The Thin Blue Line - When We Were Kings + Pee-Wee = Stop Making Sense

I...can sorta see how that would work. Here's another one:

Taking of Pelham 123 (original) = The Manchurian Candidate (original) + Network + Chinatown

P123 - MC = N + C
N + C = C + N
P123 - MC = C + N

M = Manchurian Candidate + Pee-Wee + The Office (UK Season 1)
M - Office = MC + PW

C + N + PW = SMS
P123 - MC + PW = SMS
P123 - M - Office = SMS

Really?

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Hank-y panky

You saw the movie Memento, right? Fantastic film: I highly recommend it. For those who haven't seen it, the premise is that the main character is trying to solve the mystery of his wife's murder but he suffers from short-term memory loss.

Now, did you see the new Kelsey Grammer sitcom Hank on Wednesday? It is horrible. How bad? This afternoon I watched the pilot before my screenwriting class. In class today we watched Deliverance. There were more genuine laughs during that movie than during the 23 minutes I suffered through Hank.

What does Memento have to do with this?


Well, from what I could gather from the bad acting and clunky story (it is a pilot episode after all), Kelsey Grammer's character is perpetually a fish out of water. But not in the sense that the Beverly Hillbillies were fish out water -- they eventually adapted to their environment in certain ways. I mean that each scene revolved around Hank being discombobulated by the conditions of the scene. I think that could be an interesting concept, but that is not the premise of the show.

The premise is that Hank was ousted from the board of directors of some downsized New York company. For whatever reason he did not get a golden parachute, did not liquidate any of his assets, and for some reason is not able to get another job in the city. As a result he has to move his family down to Virginia near his brother. Sure, why not?

The thing is, Hank is only able to function in a corporate board room setting. For example, he instructs his wife to keep minutes at a family meeting. You know, The Simpsons stopped doing family meetings because none of the writers' families ever did family meetings and it seemed contrived. The family on this show felt the meeting was contrived and the (insane) laugh track makes the entire scene feel contrived.

The problems don't stop there. Due to their king size bed not fitting in the stairwell, Hank and his wife are stuck in a fire engine bed for the time being (yeah, I know). There were so many things that were just unsettling in this scene. First, there is zero chemistry between Hank and his wife. His complaint in the close quarters: "You're breathing on me." Unless halitosis or fire is involved, I don't think that is generally considered a bad thing, particularly if it is your spouse. Hank's wife (sorry, I don't remember her name and I am not watching it again) is also wearing earrings and what looks like a day-to-evening ensemble from Project Runway. As I tried to puzzle my way through the weird wardrobe selection, the couple spontaneously engages in a fit of passion. No organic catalyst whatsoever.

One of my friends in my program is doing a TV research project related to laugh tracks. I mentioned this show and he asked me how many episodes I think it will last. My answer: already at least half an episode longer than it should have. If only this could be erased from my short term memory.

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Party

The other day, for no reason in particular, I was pondering one of the more bizarre aspects of my undergrad days. I lived in a housing co-operative my freshman year where all the students were responsible for cleaning, organizing activities, and basically running things with very little college intervention. Anyway, whenever the subject of house parties came up at house meetings there would be a discussion of logistics before voting on whether or not to have the party.

Typical logistic issues included the time, whether it is a house or campus party, and what bands we might be able to line up. My favorite topic was if we were going to adopt a "No Asshole" Policy. Basically, don't get so drunk you puke all over the living room, don't drink so much that you cause any fights, and if you bring any friends they need to respect the rules as well. What I love is that we always voted on if we were going to adopt the No Asshole policy. As far as I remember no one lobbied for an "Assholes Only" policy -- and this was at a school where many people use the phrase "just to play devil's advocate..."

Now for some social hygiene....

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Threes

Whenever a tragedy happens, usually a celebrity death, there is always someone who will chime in "it always comes in threes." It always bugs me, because it really is a matter of when you start counting. For example, someone on my Twitter list grouped the three of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson. One of these things is not like the other...or the other. Really, aside from the fact that they are eligible for Ghoul Pool points, there isn't all that much that connects them.

That is not to say I'm not superstitious...


Let's discuss some of my major events in life, as punctuated by major events.

After my first week of high school, we had a three-day weekend for labor day. Nothing much happened to me that weekend because I was glued to the TV watching the coverage of Princess Diana's crash scene.

My second full week of college began on Tuesday, September 11, 2001.

A couple weeks ago I was wondering what would punctuate my start of grad school. Michael Jackson was not on my radar. I have to wonder how this impact on the world of popular culture will structure the curriculum in the coming months.

All I can say at this point is...wow.

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Play List: Blarney

I still don't know if I like the song "Poker Face". Theoretically I should -- Lady Gaga seems to be a hybrid of the positive attributes of Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears. The first few times I listened to the song it passed the American Bandstand test ("It's got a good beat and you can dance to it"). I heard the chorus once as a ringtone and it sounded like something I would enjoy, though I couldn't fully distinguish what was being said. Something along the lines of "hee-ba-hi, hee-ba-hi hee-ba-ho-bi-ba-na-de-daadaaa (huminana huminana)". It wasn't until one of the students on my staff included it on a mix CD that I was able to put all the pieces together (and rip the track for my own purposes). Yay, now I can have the song on my Shuffle and get the real translation of "hee-ba-hi".

And that's where the problem lies...


With the song playing directly into my ears, I can actually listen to the lyrics and...they're not good. Like, at all. It reminds me of the "poems" that people would write in my high school creative writing class, though to Gaga's credit her metaphors aren't as thoroughly mixed. I realize it is pop music we're talking about here and expectations are low. It's not like this song will be passed to future generations, but the lyrics are so bad that it actually detracts from the listening experience. It's hard to get my dance on when I keep on stopping to say "that's dumb".

There are plenty of instances of this bizarre phenomenon in pop music. Here are some examples:

"A Horse with No Name" ~ America

"There were plants and birds and rocks and things"
"The heat was hot"

"MacArthur Park (Abridged)" ~ Donna Summer

...yeah.

"The War Song" ~ Culture Club

"War, war is stupid / and people are stupid / and love means nothing / in some strange waters." Besides being absolutely insipid, I think this may be a protest in response to the Falkland Islands conflict.

"Video" ~ India.Arie
"Keep your Cristal and your pistol / I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal"

These songs, with the possible exception of "MacArthur Park", are perfectly serviceable but have the occasional lyric that makes my earholes say "ouch". I have a couple of theories as to the causes of these errors, though it is hard to pinpoint what exactly happened. I can't tell if the songwriter painted him/herself into a corner and didn't want to have to undo an entire section (India.Arie maybe). Or, in America's case, they may have come up with the riff and cadence first and then tried to see what would fit in with whatever story they were trying to tell. A thesaurus might have been handy, but a lack of one didn't stop them. As for Culture Club, this just screams "filler track", though if it was released as a single that might explain why the group dissolved not too much later. Sadly, I think Lady Gaga is expecting people to not pay that much attention, which is fair since it is a great club song -- just keep it off your iPod.

Are there other songs that you have encountered where one word choice or line makes you cringe, affecting your reception of the song?

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Play List: Twitter

It was either Jon Stewart or Joel McHale who this week described Twitter as the Internet's Macarena. That's pretty fair, although I doubt there will be a wedding where everyone decides to start tweeting or a board meeting where everyone starts dancing -- though I'm waiting for someone to prove me wrong. It's an interesting medium that is still in its infancy, but I'm curious to see where it will be six months from now. That is, if it is still relevant.

The one feature that simultaneously intrigues and concerns me is the "Trending Topics" list on your twitter homepage. This is where you can find ten topics that are featured in a significant number of tweets. On the one hand, it is pretty cool that you get to see what's on the collective consciousness of the users of Twitters (I don't think they're called "Twits", so I'm resisting the urge to name them such). At the same time, I'm not too keen on having the the words of my tweets entered into a Top 100 countdown.

Anyway, I looked at the list of trending topics at around 9:15pm Sunday and found an interesting list. My challenge: come up with a soundtrack for the Tweet Countdown. The good news: Susan Boyle was not on the list at that moment, so I don't have to encounter that song again.


Swine Flu





#therescue

I had no idea what this topic was about. The use of a hashtag (#) allows other users to show up in searches based on whatever follows the hashtag. In this case, #therescue refers to an organization called Invisible Children that works on trying to stop the fighting in Uganda and DR Congo, particularly child soldiers. I had not heard of any of this before writing this paragraph.



Amazing Race

Originally I thought of "Roam" by the B-52's, but I couldn't find a postable video that wasn't muted by Warner Music Group. I think this is an appropriate Plan B.



Red Sox and Yankees



Mexico



Bea Arthur

Dammit, Warner Music Group. I wanted to post the theme to Maude ("Thank You for Being a Friend" seems a bit sappy to use now) but that is also muted. Rosie to the rescue.



CDC

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Idol Rules: Top 7 Redux

Let me share with you a couple of tweets that one of my friends posted during last night's results show:

way to go america, your entire bottom three is the brown people. i hate you. if allison goes, so do i.

just because you already voted for one person of color recently doesn't mean you used up your quota!

I find this response to be somewhat baffling. The underlying assumption here seems to be that the voting public should be considering the demographic balance of the remaining contestants when making their selection. For a show that is a popularity contest disguised as a singing competition I fail to see how last night's results are based exclusively on racism.

Lil Rounds needed to go home last night. It has been obvious the last few weeks that her passion for this competition has been extinguished and she was just trying to skate by. There are two issues at play here. First, she was put in the (arguably racist) Whitney/Mariah/Mary J. box where she had to be this season's "diva" (an incredibly loaded term). However, I think Lil's ultimate problem was that she is not a pop singer. That is not to say she is not a singer, she just lacks the bravado of a pop star. For example, let's take Josh Groban and ABBA. Josh Groban is a singer, but he isn't really a pop singer -- if he tried to do a cover of "Dancing Queen" it would be a hot mess. Conversely, if ABBA were to phonetically learn "You Raise Me Up" it would probably cause a rash of some sort in your earhole. Both Groban and ABBA have enjoyed success at their ends of the singing spectrum, but Idol is at one end while Lil is at the other.

Then there is Anoop. His race has nothing to do with why he was eliminated. His odious personality was the cause of his elimination. Performance-wise, he has shown improvement the last couple of weeks yet he kept finding himself in the bottom three. Obnoxiousness outweighs a good performance -- it is a popularity contest, after all. Frankly, I'm a little surprised he lasted this long.

Allison's appearance in the bottom three was disappointing but not all that surprising. You have five contestants left: Adam, who is probably still the frontrunner; Danny, who is a weakening contender; Kris who is the dark horse of this competition; Matt, whose fanbase was probably working overtime trying to keep him alive due to the save; and Allison who has been middling in the eyes of the electorate. The third person in the B3 last night was going to be Allison or Matt and it will be one of those two who go home next week, so I don't believe her skin color is playing a role in her appearance last night.

I'm guessing if Matt was in the B3, this post would not be happening. It is unsettling to see the contestants of color on the danger side of the stage, but the reasons they were there had very little to do with their skin tone.

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Boyle-ing Point

This Susan Boyle thing is really starting to creep me out. For those of you who don't know who I am talking about, let me give you a rundown.

Susan Boyle appeared on the program Britain's Got Talent last week. She sang the song "I Dreamed a Dream" from the show Les Miz. After her performance, the audience was cheering and the judges all gave reviews that led to three "Yes" votes for moving her on to the next phase of the competition. Pretty typical reality show sequence of events, but that doesn't explain why Boyle is being described as an internet sensation. Some other facts to color the scene: Boyle is 47, unemployed, and, in her own words, lives with a cat and has never been kissed.

And then she broke the interwebs.

The consensus is that Boyle gave a good performance on the show. Many would say excellent and I have yet to see a review that called it anything less than good, so let's go with the less extreme opinion. However, that's where the joy ends. Many of the blogs that I subscribe to have shared their positive opinions on the Susan Boyle Experience and have since been inundated with flame wars about the varying degrees of opinions and the application of semantics.

People have taken offense at Boyle being referred to as "older". 47 is older than me, so I would describe her as older. But those in their 50's, who do not consider themselves "older", have expressed contempt for that term being applied to someone younger than them. There's "older" used as an adjective of comparison, which seems to be the more common usage in this case, and "older" used as a pejorative adjective which I don't think has been the intention of any use of the term.

The other issue that has come up is physical nature of Ms. Boyle. She is not ugly, she is not glamorously beautiful, she is just...average. I don't have any of her measurements, but she appears to be average in just about every dimension. If anything, she is the human manifestation of beige. This has created intense debate about lookism, particularly in the realm of talent based reality television. It is an interesting conversation topic, but the vitriol is getting a bit much.

There's nothing that bothers me about Susan Boyle personally. Her performance is a joy to behold, which also seems to be part of the general consensus. If anything, the presentation is a bit overwrought, but that is a fault of production and outside of her control. However, all this joy is eradicated as soon as people have shared their reactions on the web. Civility is beginning to go to the wayside because one person's joy does not necessarily synch up with another.

What I'm taking from the clip is that extraordinary talent should be celebrated, regardless of the source. Why does that celebration need to be shouted down by other celebrators?

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Anti

For the most part, I'm ambivalent about the gay marriage issue. Some might consider this surprising since I am part of the dudes-kissing-dudes coalition, but I think there are more important issues that the gay rights movement needs to address. Such as being able to walk down the street without fear of getting jumped or preventing discrimination in housing and employment. To me, fighting for gay marriage is like trying to put the roof on the house before building the walls.

Then today in my Google Reader I get this tidbit from the folks over at AdFreak:



Let's parse, shall we?

"There's a storm gathering, the clouds are dark and the winds are strong, and I am afraid."

I sincerely appreciate the honesty in this statement. The motivation, as this ad presents it, is fear. Is it fear of change? Fear of others? Fear of accepting differences? I do find "I am afraid" to be a more convincing argument that "um...because" or "Leviticus says so".

"Some who advocate for same-sex marriage have taken the issue far beyond same-sex couples. They want to bring the issue into my life. My freedom will be taken away."

This is where things get murky. I'm not entirely sure what they are referring to here.

"I'm a California doctor who must choose between my faith and my job."

I'm not sure what sort of medical decisions would be affected by gay marriage. Usually when I hear about conflicts of faith and medicine they involve either abortion, fertility, or right-to-die situations. I don't have any hard statistics, but I think it is safe to say that the abortion rates for same-sex couples is incredibly low. What about fertility doctors? I question where the a doctor in this situation has drawn the line between acceptable and unacceptable in determining who should benefit from in vitro. I suppose the difference lies in whether the egg and sperm donors are from the same parental couple, but then all of the heterosexual women who want to be single moms who are using sperm donations would also fall into this category. The only plausible possibility I can think of would be medical decisions. If a doctor believes that medical decisions can only be made by a heterosexual life partner, then next-of-kin and legal guardianships could not be used as a means of making those decisions. If there is some area of medicine that I am missing here, please let me know because I fail to see the problem here.

"I'm part of a New Jersey church group punished by the government because we can't support same-sex marriage."

I had to look this up and was pleased with what I found. This group is being "punished" because this particular church owns a property that a lesbian couple wanted to rent to host their civil union and the church's refusal violated New Jersey's public accommodation laws. The Church (as in, the Methodist faith) is not being punished, just this individual church that didn't want to play by the rules. Of course, it is difficult to hear the distinction between church (little 'c') and Church (big 'C').

"I am a Massachusetts parent helplessly watching public schools teach my son that gay marriage is okay."

You can check out the Massachusetts public school curriculum. I recommend the History and Social Science listing, particularly if you are a History/Government dork like me. From what I could tell, the state is not requiring a close reading of Goodrich v. Department of Public Health. Perhaps instead of being helpless, why don't you talk to the teacher, principal, or school board if you feel like the class is getting too far off-track from the curriculum?

"But some who advocate for same-sex marriage have not been content with same-sex couples living as they wish. Those advocates want to change the way I live. I will have no choice. The storm...is coming."

What? I don't see how Bert and Ernie living together with a contract indicating their promise to each other till death do they part really has any affect on my or your day-to-day life. The same goes for Bob and Carol getting hitched or Ted and Alice getting all official.

"But we have hope. A rainbow coalition of people of every creed and color who are coming together in love to protect marriage."

I'm so glad the national game of Smear the Queer does not discriminate on who gets to play. Seriously?

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Drunk

Last night's league session made me extremely uncomfortable. One of the bowler's on the other team was completely plastered before the lanes were turned on. I'm sure this isn't the first time this has happened in my Thursday league, but this is the first time where I was getting ensnared by the environment as a result. The guy decided to pick me as his "buddy" which means that every time I was within 5 feet of him he felt the need to interact with me. I know that sounds really arrogant on my part, but when most of those interactions are along the lines of "I thought you were good, dude" and "did you see that? He missed the spare" (referring to one of my teammates) I think I'm entitled to a little disdain. Also, I'm not the chattiest person anyway, so when he was trying to get me to talk by instigating instead of conversing that just causes me to close off more.

By the second game, after a few more rounds of drinks, he had progressed from "tipsy/chatty/buddy buddy" to "overly aware of his surroundings/asshole". He noticed that Bukie, our anchor bowler, was the namesake of our team "Bukie & Associates" and kept on chanting "Bukie". Towards the end of the third game, after a string of open frames caused by an inability to aim, he threw a ball so hard and fast into the gutter that it bounced over the lane divider, hit the gutter on the next lane over, bounced out of that gutter and went down the lane. The machine was cycling, so the ball bounced off the rake and caromed back and managed to get back to the approach. Even his teammates were all "Dude, seriously?" I just wanted to get out of there.

I do not object to drinking. I don't even object to a light buzz where one is still giggly or perhaps chattier than usual. When you get beyond that point though, all of my defenses are at red alert. I get nervous that interactions will go awry. I get uncomfortable that I will be the only person lucid enough to act like an adult. I get anxious and feel like I'm struggling for control of a situation that has suddenly become very unpredictable.

After last night, I felt the need to unload that baggage. Thank you.

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The Madness of Rube Goldberg

Why does ESPN allow you 10 brackets for March Madness? I realize I am probably the last person who should be complaining about this, given how much I hate basketball. But I like college basketball, I like choosing, and I like bracket formations, so this annual ordeal is perfect for me, I suppose.

This is only my third year of actually participating in the madness beyond "Oh, is it that time of year again?" My first foray I think has been and will be my best year. With so little knowledge about the sport I wasn't going to be biased by team loyalties or statistics. All I knew was that you never, ever pick the 16 seed to advance. However, the rest of my picks were based on the following criteria:

1. I considered going to the law school on the campus.
2. I recalled the school having some vague association with a good basketball team at some (not necessarily recent) point.
3. I knew someone who went to the school.

I think I actually made it to the Elite 8 with this strategy.

Last year I made the mistake of using prior knowledge and experience to factor into my picks. Granted, there were some early upsets, particularly in Tampa, that pretty much ruined me. It doesn't help if your Final Four pick from a section is knocked out in the second round. I have no confidence in any of my brackets this time around. For example, I called a UNC/Syracuse matchup before the selection process this past Sunday. All my biases are kicking in, as are my past experiences with bracket busters.

What I don't understand, though, is how anyone could fill out 10 brackets. I have my pool bracket, a secondary bracket which I think is at least 70% the same as my pool bracket, and then my experimental brackets. There's the bracket where you pick all the high seeds. There's the bracket where you select the team with the better win-loss record. I did a bracket where I picked the winner based on proximity to Detroit (surprise - Michigan won that bracket).

My favorite bracket, both last year and this year, is the Coin Flip bracket. Heads: Top line advances; Tails: Bottom line advances (exception: 1 seed advances to second round). This has led to a semi-bizarre Final Four:

*Pittsburgh (1) - The East is the most sensible bracket with Pitt, Xavier, VCU, and Duke in the Sweet Sixteen.

*Wake Forest (4) - Okay, this isn't that unlikely, and I have Wake Forest advancing to this point in at least one other bracket.

*Western Kentucky (12) - The South is the most bonkers section of the bracket. UNC loses to Butler in the second round. Western KY beats Akron in the second round. Clemson takes on S F Austin after unseating Oklahoma. The good news is if even half of this turns out to be correct, I will be raking in the points.

*Cornell (14) - Memphis out in round one, UConn out in round two, and that's just two results. The only reason the West isn't as insane as the South is because BYU, Washington and California make it to Sweet Sixteen. If the South is the Bracket Buster, the West is Upset Central.

The finals are between Wake Forest and Western Kentucky(!) with Wake Forest taking it all.

So how are your brackets looking? Are you using all 10? What sort of filler brackets are happening?

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Terrorist Fist Jab

Courtesy of Fox Detroit:

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Delayed

Back at the end of October I attended the USBC Silver conference down in Newport, Kentucky. The conference went well, I learned a lot about bowling, took a test, and according to Rod Ross, a Gold level coach who lead the workshop, I passed the exam. When I received the e-mail from Rod he mentioned that with the regular bureaucracy compound by USBC moving from Wisconsin to Texas it would take four weeks or so for my status to be updated.

This past Wednesday, with still no word from USBC, I sent an e-mail to the coaching department asking "what the dilly yo?" Well, I was a bit more professional, but that was the gist. Here is the response I got today:

Mike,

The certificates were finally printed and ready to be mailed when it was discovered that our supply of Silver emblems was depleted. An order for additional emblems has been placed and the certificates will be mailed as soon as they arrive.

In the meantime, your certification has been updated in our database.

My sincerest apologies for this lengthy delay!

Regards,

Cindy W.

Seriously, USBC Coaching? My professional coaching status was on hold because you were out of patches? And somehow that prevented my status from being updated in your database? Also, there are only 3-4 Silver Conferences a year -- how long does it take to restock the inventory in between gigs?

How can USBC expect to revitalize the sport of bowling when it consistently makes boneheaded mistakes of this nature?

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Half-pint

I'm working on a new side project to pass the downtime that I seem to have a lot of lately. And to justify having Little House on the Prairie adding 4 hours to my TiVo playlist daily (seriously, Hallmark Channel?). It's a recap blog called "WTF, Little House on the Prairie?". I have just an intro post at the moment, but I have a recap in progress and a few episodes in the hopper. My big plan is to do an episode a week, posting one segment each day. Although I would prefer to do a Monday-Friday schedule, I think this first episode will start Friday and post through Tuesday.

Anyway, check it out and let me know what y'all think!

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I was watching MSNBC instead

Help me, Wolf Blitzer. You're my only hope!



Huh.

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