VMA Post-Mortem

I had no intention of writing anything about tonight's Video Music Awards (aside from the squibs over at TVLatest), but the show has been over for twenty minutes and I find myself jittery, on edge, and feeling kind of angry and I have no idea why.

I think part of the problem is that my intent for watching was not coming from a positive place. Being in Detroit for the majority of the last year has left me fairly unexposed to popular music. When the radio stations play only that one Eminem song, that one Usher song, "Rolling in the Deep" and "E.T.", you're left in the boonies in terms of what other people are listening to. You used to be able to find out what those songs could be by tuning into MTV, but as the students who are arriving on-campus Tuesday will tell you, that has not been the case in their lifetimes.

I'll let that sink in before moving on.

Also, as is the case with any major event of this sort, Twitter scrolls along in the background. What I love about Twitter is getting to share in cultural moments with people who are on the same wavelength as me. Unfortunately, that wavelength includes competitive bitchery, which is in full force for the VMAs. The only moments that I think were universally enjoyed ("universally" being defined as 65% approval or better) was Adele's performance and Beyoncé's baby bump. Even the Amy Winehouse tribute (which I thought was classy given that Russell Brand was the main spokesperson) received a heavy dose of heckling from my follow list.

I guess what bothers me is that tonight's show was like watching a dream unfulfilled. When I was born my six siblings ranged in age from 5-17 and just about all of them wanted their MTV. Throughout my toddlerdom I received Chernobyl-like exposure to music presented in the video format. Now you know why I am the way I am. Anyway, I wanted to make music videos when I grew up, but when the programming model of MTV and VH1 shifted in the mid-90's there was a supply/demand issue arising. MTV2 came along and I would watch that for hours on end during my high school years. Then that programming model changed and now that dream felt all but dead.

Maybe this is a long-winded way of saying "I'm old! They don't play music on MTV anymore! GET OFF MY LAWN!" Maybe that's what's bumming me out.

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Eurovision!

This week is Eurovision week over in Oslo. What do you mean, "so what?" Okay, that's a fair question, considering that Eurovision has only recently gained any sort of coverage here in the States. Yay Globalism! Seriously, if you are any sort of fan of American Idol or ABBA, you will get a kick out of this competition.



The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual international competition where each participating country will submit a song in the hopes of it being selected as the best by the rest of participants. The final features 25 live performances of songs (3 minutes maximum length) broadcast across the continent. The participating countries (including those eliminated in the semi-finals) vote for their favorite, but they are not allowed to vote for their own representative. The top 10 from each country will earn points (12, 10, 8, 7, ... 2, 1) and the country/song with the most points wins the contest. The prize is bragging rights and the option of being the host country for the following year's competition.

Although Eurovision is relatively unknown in American culture, there are some influences. ABBA gained fame for performing the Eurovision 1972 winner "Waterloo". Celine Dion's rise to power came on the heels of performing for Switzerland in the late 1980's. This Saturday night or Sunday morning you will likely see a squib on Yahoo News about this year's winning song. It's egalitarian Europop camp and I absolutely love it.

I actually did quite a bit of research about Eurovision in preparation for my comp exam and have since become obsessed with the last couple of entries from the Ukraine:

2008: Ani Lorak "Shady Lady" (Runner-up):



2009: Svetlana Loboda "Be My Valentine! (Anti-Crisis Girl)":

Submission Video:



I think this video is awesome. The live performance though...yeesh. The semi-final was pretty bad, but the final performance sounded even worse.

Final Performance:



It also didn't help that she immediately followed the winner of the 2009 contest, who earned the second highest winning point total ever.



That's what we in the biz call an uphill battle.

I'll be posting videos of the contenders for this year's contest over at Rube Goldberg's DVR. Y'all should check it out!

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Hmmm

If I don't feel like putting on the iPod when I travel around Syracuse I usually listen to 96.5/100.3 (Movin!). I don't know how a station that so closely matches my taste in music has managed to stay in business. They play a fair amount of pop (Lady Gaga, Britney, etc.) but they also play some old and obscure stuff. Listen long enough and you can hear "U Can't Touch This" AND "2 Legit 2 Quit" -- neither of which is played with any sense of irony. Driving back from Target one night I heard "Double Dutch Bus", a song that most people would probably recognize only as a sample in Missy Elliot's "Gossip Folks".

Another track that I have heard more than once is the song by C & C Music Factory that isn't "Gonna Make You Sweat".


This one is called "Things That Make You Go Hmmm":



Wow, you know, when I set out to write this I was going to focus on how screwed up the stories are in the song. However, it has been close to 20 years(!) since I last saw this video and...wow. You have to remember, this group was HUGE...at the time. We were still on a Milli Vanilli high and counting off the hits of Paula Abdul's Forever Your Girl album. It was the gap between New Wave, Heavy Metal, Super Pop (oh yeah, they play a lot of Expose on Movin!) on one side and gangsta rap and grunge on the other. It was a simpler time, 1990.

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Glee

The Fall Season has finally arrived. Hooray! There are quite a few programs I am looking forward to, both new and returning, and I would like to share my instant opinions after the first episodes debut.

First up: Glee!

Alright, so this is technically the second episode that aired tonight. I thought Fox did a brilliant job of creating buzz for this program by airing the pilot after part one of the American Idol finale. There have also been preview videos available on iTunes. Normally I don't go out of my way to check out promo stuff on iTunes, but I recently got a new computer that doesn't grind to a halt when playing videos so I decided to check them out. I think this may have been a mistake.

The video I saw was the "Gold Digger" rehearsal sequence. I like how the show worked the song into the story -- juxtaposing it after the house tour sequence and using it as a foil to "Le Freak". However, I found the sound quality in the sequence incredibly distracting. Part of the problem is that the audio does not match the environment, which makes it quite apparent that the cast is lip synching. I think this is where the single-camera format is actually hurting the show -- if the music sequences were shot in multicam, then the audio quality would match and create the feeling of a live performance. However, switching formats could greatly alter the overall aesthetic of the show, so I'm not sure if this is a viable solution.

There are other audio issues that can be more easily addressed. The audio for the "Say a Little Prayer" sequence did not match up at all. The acoustics were wrong and it sounded like more than three people were singing. There is no reason for such a mismatch and I worry that this will be a recurring issue on the show. Case in point: "Take a Bow". There are a number of noticeable breaths in this version of the song -- breaths that the character Rachel is not demonstrating. Again, the audio makes it sound like someone just hit "play" on a CD and told the cast to lip synch as best they can. It is not as bad as Viva Laughlin, but I am still concerned.

In terms of story, I thought this was a good second pilot for the show. Characters are still being developed and conflicts are starting to get a little fleshed out. I'm still not 100% sold that there is enough meat for a long-running series, but there is certainly potential. My hope is that the show will avoid the trap of ending each episode with a relevant pop song ("Don't Stop Believin'" and "Take a Bow") to wrap up everything in a bow. It smacks of Dawson's Creek and other late 90's teen drama and it seems somewhat cliche at this point.

What I do hope sticks around is the "mailman in the windshield" metaphor. It would be great if that just pops up in episode nine and the audience is expected to remember what that means.

Overall, I'm giving this episode a solid B and will keep this on the TiVo for now.

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Play List: Blarney

I still don't know if I like the song "Poker Face". Theoretically I should -- Lady Gaga seems to be a hybrid of the positive attributes of Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears. The first few times I listened to the song it passed the American Bandstand test ("It's got a good beat and you can dance to it"). I heard the chorus once as a ringtone and it sounded like something I would enjoy, though I couldn't fully distinguish what was being said. Something along the lines of "hee-ba-hi, hee-ba-hi hee-ba-ho-bi-ba-na-de-daadaaa (huminana huminana)". It wasn't until one of the students on my staff included it on a mix CD that I was able to put all the pieces together (and rip the track for my own purposes). Yay, now I can have the song on my Shuffle and get the real translation of "hee-ba-hi".

And that's where the problem lies...


With the song playing directly into my ears, I can actually listen to the lyrics and...they're not good. Like, at all. It reminds me of the "poems" that people would write in my high school creative writing class, though to Gaga's credit her metaphors aren't as thoroughly mixed. I realize it is pop music we're talking about here and expectations are low. It's not like this song will be passed to future generations, but the lyrics are so bad that it actually detracts from the listening experience. It's hard to get my dance on when I keep on stopping to say "that's dumb".

There are plenty of instances of this bizarre phenomenon in pop music. Here are some examples:

"A Horse with No Name" ~ America

"There were plants and birds and rocks and things"
"The heat was hot"

"MacArthur Park (Abridged)" ~ Donna Summer

...yeah.

"The War Song" ~ Culture Club

"War, war is stupid / and people are stupid / and love means nothing / in some strange waters." Besides being absolutely insipid, I think this may be a protest in response to the Falkland Islands conflict.

"Video" ~ India.Arie
"Keep your Cristal and your pistol / I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal"

These songs, with the possible exception of "MacArthur Park", are perfectly serviceable but have the occasional lyric that makes my earholes say "ouch". I have a couple of theories as to the causes of these errors, though it is hard to pinpoint what exactly happened. I can't tell if the songwriter painted him/herself into a corner and didn't want to have to undo an entire section (India.Arie maybe). Or, in America's case, they may have come up with the riff and cadence first and then tried to see what would fit in with whatever story they were trying to tell. A thesaurus might have been handy, but a lack of one didn't stop them. As for Culture Club, this just screams "filler track", though if it was released as a single that might explain why the group dissolved not too much later. Sadly, I think Lady Gaga is expecting people to not pay that much attention, which is fair since it is a great club song -- just keep it off your iPod.

Are there other songs that you have encountered where one word choice or line makes you cringe, affecting your reception of the song?

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Idol Rules: October Surprise

Tamyra Gray. LaToya London. Chris Daughtry. Tonight's elimination is going to add someone to that infamous list of 4th place finishers. What makes this year's fourth place different is that it is going to be epic no matter who ends up getting bounced. Seriously, set your DVR's, VCR's or watch tonight's elimination live, because it will be the most amazing elimination ever...


Part of my premise is based on the fact that I don't believe we are going to get the inevitable Adam Lambert-Danny Gokey finale that people have been predicting since February. Allison and Kris have proven to be quite capable and deserving of reaching this stage of the competition, and the complacency of the voters is going to shake things up.

I think the only person truly safe is Adam, since there was the wake-up call provided by his appearance in the bottom three (though not necessarily bottom two) last week. Although I didn't care for either of his performances last night, they were the most universally well-received so he has quite a big safety net. BUT if he does get eliminated, most likely because of complacency, we may see an entire auditorium shit themselves on live TV.

Eliminating Allison Iraheta will create an interesting scenario. As the last female and contestant-of-color, it's going to annoy quite a large group of viewers. However, based on this week alone, I think her elimination would be the most surprising. Adam and Kris were on the bubble last week. While the individual performances of Allison and Kris were not well received, her duet with Adam did earn her bonus points. I think the consensus would be along the lines of "she didn't deserve to go this week".

The awesomeness of a Kris Allen elimination will have a delayed effect. Besides being saddled with Gokey and a terrible song choice (Styx, seriously?), he then had to immediately follow up that performance. The cards are not in his favor, although his performance was my favorite of the night. What is interesting is that both Kris and Gokey have been attracting the "cougar" vote, a term that makes my poli-sci heart turn ice cold. I have no idea how valid that particular political cleavage is, but there must be some reason that some went with Danny and some with Kris and I don't see them jumping sides. In other words, if Kris is eliminated this week, I can see there being quite a bit of backlash against Danny next week.

And then there's Danny. Everything about the performance, from song choice to execution, just blared "Bad Idea". I haven't had an Idol WTF moment like that since that girl crying for Sanjaya during British Invasion week back in Season 6. Based on this week alone, Danny deserves to go home. However, can you imagine the reaction if one of the presumptive finalists is eliminated this early? Best of all, if Danny does get the boot, he has to do "Dream On" as his sing-out. How awesome is THAT going to be?

What do I think will happen? Kris and Danny will end up on the Seal, but beyond that I'm just not sure. I want Kris to stay (and perhaps win) but I think I may be clinging to a hope that just isn't there.

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Play List: Twitter

It was either Jon Stewart or Joel McHale who this week described Twitter as the Internet's Macarena. That's pretty fair, although I doubt there will be a wedding where everyone decides to start tweeting or a board meeting where everyone starts dancing -- though I'm waiting for someone to prove me wrong. It's an interesting medium that is still in its infancy, but I'm curious to see where it will be six months from now. That is, if it is still relevant.

The one feature that simultaneously intrigues and concerns me is the "Trending Topics" list on your twitter homepage. This is where you can find ten topics that are featured in a significant number of tweets. On the one hand, it is pretty cool that you get to see what's on the collective consciousness of the users of Twitters (I don't think they're called "Twits", so I'm resisting the urge to name them such). At the same time, I'm not too keen on having the the words of my tweets entered into a Top 100 countdown.

Anyway, I looked at the list of trending topics at around 9:15pm Sunday and found an interesting list. My challenge: come up with a soundtrack for the Tweet Countdown. The good news: Susan Boyle was not on the list at that moment, so I don't have to encounter that song again.


Swine Flu





#therescue

I had no idea what this topic was about. The use of a hashtag (#) allows other users to show up in searches based on whatever follows the hashtag. In this case, #therescue refers to an organization called Invisible Children that works on trying to stop the fighting in Uganda and DR Congo, particularly child soldiers. I had not heard of any of this before writing this paragraph.



Amazing Race

Originally I thought of "Roam" by the B-52's, but I couldn't find a postable video that wasn't muted by Warner Music Group. I think this is an appropriate Plan B.



Red Sox and Yankees



Mexico



Bea Arthur

Dammit, Warner Music Group. I wanted to post the theme to Maude ("Thank You for Being a Friend" seems a bit sappy to use now) but that is also muted. Rosie to the rescue.



CDC

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Play List: Eulogy

Two of the classes that were part of my Religion major were "Issues in Medical Ethics" and "Ethical Issues in Death & Dying" (or, Deathics). One of the topics highlighted in both courses was to make sure your final directives are made clear to your loved ones before you are in the situation where they will come in to play. I think at the time the lesson dealt more with life support issues, organ donation, and cremation versus burial, but the first directive I came up with was music oriented. NO bagpipes, NO "Amazing Grace", NO BAGPIPES PLAYING "AMAZING GRACE".

Last week I caught this article on Yahoo News about what songs are the most popular at funerals. The study was commissioned by the British company Co-operative Funeralcare and they do this study every couple of years or so. Their findings, which can be found here, are interesting in a dark humor sort of way.

The top popular song choice was "My Way" by either Frank Sinatra or this version by Shirley Bassey:



Neither version would be my choice. If I wanted something that theatrical, I would probably go with "The Impossible Dream", though chances are I would avoid any song with such pomp.

The only song on the top ten that I was not familiar with was Gerry and the Pacemakers' "You'll Never Walk Alone":



I can see why this one would be popular for this context, but again I wouldn't want something so over the top. Maybe it's my Irish heritage talking, but I think I would want the music to be celebratory rather than making people sadder.

The alternative, I suppose, would be to go to the "quirky choices" section. My favorite item on that list: The Trammps "Disco Inferno"



It's a good track, but not quite how I would like to be remembered. It is in the ballpark being an up-tempo dance number, but unless I died in a fire or too much funk it wouldn't be all that relevant.

Here are three choices I'm tossing around:



Bjork "New World"



Stevie Nicks "Landslide"



Elvis Costello "Everyday I Write the Book"

I realize it is kind of morbid, but what song or songs would you be considering for this situation? Are there some songs that are totally inappropriate or ones that you think the list overlooked?

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Play List: Counterpoint

There were two internet destinations that figured prominently in my freshman year of college: Art of the Mix and Audiogalaxy. The former allowed me to share with others the carefully crafted mix tapes I devised during my high school years while the latter allowed me to build a rather extensive mp3 collection for future mixes.

Nowadays, I find mixing to be somewhat uninspired because there are fewer limitations. I didn't get a CD burner until twelfth grade, so all of mixes up to that point were actual mix tapes. Mix construction at that time required extensive planning. First you pick a theme and then select songs related to that theme. After repeatedly listening to specific tracks, you narrow down your list and create a dossier that included the length of each track. Once you narrow down your list to 12-15 tracks, you have to create a flow from one track to the next. It could be a drum beat, a choice of tempo, some connective fiber linking one song to the next. However, with a tape you are limited to either 30 or 45 minutes to a side, so you need to structure your tracks so that connections can flow without a tape flip cutting into the middle of a track or having over two minutes of silence. I probably went through a ream of paper in high school just from adding up the total minutes of a proposed list -- but it was worth it.

CD Burning adjusted those limitations. Instead you could have up to 80 minutes of continuous music expounding on a theme of your choosing. Arranging flow was also easier as shuffling tracks just involved a click and a drag instead of swapping CDs and skip-searching track numbers. Also, with services like Audiogalazy and Kazaa, if there was a song that you needed to complete your thesis it was only a short download away. There is a distinct disadvantage to the switch from tape to CD: If you want to present a point/counterpoint type mix (such as God/Devil), you don't have the flipping of a tape to facilitate that transition of thought.

Modern music technology has made this process almost impossible. A playlist, as Nick and Norah have shown us, can be infinite. Synthesizing an idea is no longer necessary because there is no technologically forced limitation. I still use my first generation iPod Shuffle on a daily basis, but 8.5 hours is way too much when conveying an idea, particularly if you want to present a dichotomy.

A playlist idea that I have been batting around revolves around the idea of Point/Counterpoint, Rebuttal/Response, A-Side/B-Side. Since my music library has exploded in the last few years, I feel like I have missed music based discussions between tracks that may not have realized they were in conversation with one another. I feel the list is incomplete, partly because my library will always be incomplete, partly because sometimes I will only make the connection if the right synapses fire at the right time. Here is my list so far:

"The Way I Are" Timbaland /
"My Love Don't Cost a Thing" Jennifer Lopez

"My Humps" Black Eyed Peas /
"Thong Song" Sisqo

"Shut Up and Drive" Rihanna /
"Little Red Corvette" Prince

"Lovestoned/I Think That She Knows" Justin Timberlake /
"Layla" Derek and the Dominos

"Southern Man" Neil Young /
"Sweet Home Alabama" Lynyrd Skynyrd

That last item would probably get cut in the final draft, since the rebuttal is explicit in the latter song, but hopefully you get the idea. As you can see it is a rather short list and not enough for even a cassette.

What songs do you think would work for a mix like this?

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Play List: 80's One Hit Wonders

Last week VH1 added to their list of lists with the 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 80's. This is my cocaine and I was giddy all Friday. I am not embarrassed by this, but now that I've come down from the high it's time to look at the list.

This is not going to be a critique of all 100 items because I'm not insane. But as with any of these lists there are 5 reactions: "Right on", "I hate that song", "That's too high on the list", "That's too low", and "Wow! They included that one!" Let's go through the highlights, lowlights, and alrights(!).

#95 - Midnight Oil "Beds Are Burning"



Status: Too Low

It took me until hour three of this countdown to realize that this isn't the top 100 one-hit wonder videos. Although the video, if there was one associated with a given song, may have factored into a voter's opinion it most likely was not a deciding factor. Ubiquity seemed to be a dominant factor, particularly as you get higher in the list. Even though this is a really awesome song, Australian aboriginal land rights was not the most ubiquitous topic in 1989 from what I recall. Although I can see how the sound of the lead singer's voice might be a turn off for some, I still think this should rank a little bit higher. At least it should rank higher than the next entry...



#89 - Rodney Dangerfield "Rappin' Rodney"



Status: Too High

Don't get me wrong: I like Rodney Dangerfield. I think Back to School is an underrated film. But there are no redeeming qualities to this "song" or video. This is one of a small handful of novelty songs that also made the countdown, yet the "Super Bowl Shuffle" did not make the cut. Maybe the 1985 Chicago Bears had a rock anthem or ballad that also charted that I'm not aware of. Regardless, the fact that this track made it as far up as 89 is a real disappointment. Also: why is he being executed?

#72 - Swing Out Sister "Breakout"



Status: Yay!/Too Low

I LOVE this song and video. It was a favorite growing up and one that I had forgotten from time to time only to experience great joy whenever I rediscovered it. My first rediscovery was in high school at the library I worked at. Someone had returned a 20th Century Masters: Swing Out Sister CD, causing me to question the legitimacy of that particular CD series (I didn't know SOS was ginormous in Japan). My most recent rediscovery was a couple years ago shortly after rediscovering New Order and following iTunes' suggestions. This track has since become a staple on my iPod.

#62 - XTC "Dear God"



Status: Yay!

This is an amazing track. Back in my high school sociology class we had an assignment where we had to pick a song that talked about a social issue, write a couple of paragraphs about the issue, bring in a copy of the lyrics, and bring either the song or video for the class to partake. I had recently acquired this video from MTV2 and thought it was a perfect match for class. This was just one of a number of projects I did in twelfth grade that was met with stunned silence by my peers. You are probably not going to hear this on American Idol and the lines "the father, son and holy ghost/is just somebody's unholy hoax" are pretty incendiary (though awesomely constructed). The only issue I have is that XTC did have a minor hit with "The Mayor of Simpleton", but I guess it was so minor that VH1 let it slide.

#58 - Don Johnson "Heartbeat"



Status: WAY Too High

BOO! I can't believe this outranked "Rappin' Rodney", let alone almost half the list. There is nothing redeeming about this song or video. The only time I think it was ever enjoyable was during the MTV special 25 Lame, where Jon Stewart, Denis Leary, Janeane Garofalo and Chris Kattan (one of these things is not like the other...) were snarking as the video played. By the way, if you are ever able to catch that special or find it archived anywhere, it is a joyous two hours.

#50 - Neneh Cherry "Buffalo Stance"



Status: Yay! / Right on!

This is another song/video that I absolutely love. I remember my sister Kathy really liking this song and every time it came on we had our own 4 minute dance party in the living room. I was only 6 at the time and didn't really grasp the concept of prostitution, but I know a jam when I hear one. This was another "joy of rediscovery" track. It must have been a good fifteen years since I last heard this song, but the first time I heard the album Arular by M.I.A. my immediate reaction was "she reminds me of Neneh Cherry." This song is another iPod staple.

#34 - The Waitresses "I Know What Boys Like"

Status: Too High

I think the fact that this video is not available on YouTube gives some sort of indication that this song is not all that popular. I'm just not a fan of new wave punk (as opposed to new wave pop) and this is one of the only new wave punk entries in the entire countdown. I think this line from the song sums it up best: "nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah / nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah". Seriously.

#27 - Stacey Q "Two of Hearts"



Status: Right on!

Don't laugh, but I think this song was a bit ahead of its time. The video is incredibly dated, which I think is what caused me to remember it as being catchy but not all that special back in 1986 (even at the age of 3 I could be a harsh critic). It wasn't until the summer of 2004 when my friend Brad had me take a listen to his cover of the song that I realized how intricate the song was in its simplicity. The song has a clear message, an awesome hook, and Stacey Q sounds amazing. I might even go so far as to call it the "Superstition" of the Synth-pop generation. I'm totally sincere in that assessment.

#19 - Dead or Alive "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)"



Status: Too Low / Right on!

This song's placement baffles me somewhat. I realize that with the top 20 the list enters into "iconic" territory and different icons carry different weights. Taking a look at the list there are some significant heavyweights, though Animotion's high placement is a bit surprising. I think this is a case where the video does come into play, as "Obsession" is much better served by its video than this song is.

Of course, looking at the Top 10 it is nothing but heavyweights. Here is how I would rank them (VH1's ranking in parentheses):

10. Kajagoogoo "Too Shy" (9)

9. Frankie Goes to Hollywood "Relax" (10)

8. Tommy Tutone "867-5309/Jenny" (4)

7. Bow Wow Wow "I Want Candy" (8)

6. Flock of Seagulls "I Ran (So Far Away)" (2)

5. Dexy's Midnight Runners "Come on Eileen" (1)

4. Toni Basil "Mickey" (6)

3. Soft Cell "Tainted Love" (5)

2. Modern English "Melt With You" (7)

And number 1 (or 3, according to VH1):

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Idol Rules: Top 9

This installment is a bit late this week because I had to think off what sort of political lesson could be gleaned from this week's episode. Well, it's almost 72 hours later, which leads me to think that there really isn't anything all that surprising about the how's and why's that caused Megan, Anoop and Allison to be in the bottom three. The three of them gave performances that ranged from bad to tepid and they were in the front half of the broadcast which doesn't help them in the memorability department.

However, I did find myself surprised that Megan was eliminated this week. If you followed my Idol Tweets on Tuesday, I predicted that Anoop and Allison would be joined in the bottom three by Matt and that Anoop would be going home. I also stipulated that VFTW, Vote for the Worst, would be able to keep Megan in the competition one more week. I think if this was any other season, that prediction would have held up with a larger pool of mediocre performers to sloosh through.

In short, I'm kind of phoning it in this week since there really isn't much analysis on how to best navigate the theme of "pick a song that was downloaded by somebody that one time". At least, there's nothing that hasn't already been covered in the previous weeks. Hopefully "Songs from the Year You Were Born" (AKA De Facto 80's Night) will offer some more insight.

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Play List

I would like Mondays on the blog to be music oriented - partly because I think that's a fun way to start the work week and partly because I like alliteration (music Mondays). So, welcome to the debut of Play List. This week's list will deal with American Idol and the rumor that this week's theme is the iTunes Top 100. I have no idea how often the iTunes 100 gets updated (hourly, daily or weekly), so these are my predictions/suggestions/wishes for this week's show. Oh, and these are based on what the iTunes 100 list included at 11:45pm Sunday. Enjoy!

Adam Lambert: #24 "Let it Rock" Kevin Rudolf & Lil Wayne

Matt Giraud: #20 "You Found Me" The Fray

Danny Gokey: #57 "Gotta Be Somebody" Nickelback (I will be extremely surprised if I called this one wrong)(Oh, and this video totally ganked the visual from one of Sephiroth's attacks)

Anoop Desai: #5 "Gives You Hell" The All-American Rejects (True story: I was at a karaoke bar last week and someone did this song and I thought it was from 1999 or 2000.)

Scott MacIntyre: #85 "Don't Stop Believin'" Journey (This would be brilliant on Scott's part. Also, when is Journey night going to happen?)

Kris Allen: #27 "1,2,3,4" The Plain White T's

Lil Rounds: #39 "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" Beyonce

Allison Iraheta: #63 "Chasing Pavements" Adele (This would be a perfect match and I really hope this happens.)

Megan Joy: #19 "Hoedown Throwdown" Miley Cyrus (I have not voted for Idol since Season 3. I will lift my moratorium if this happens. I will get all my friends to vote if she does the dance.)

What are your predictions?

Update: I couldn't remember the source at the time I posted this, but here is the origin of the rumor (by way of Idolator).

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Idol Rules: Top 10

Week three of American Idol is what I like to call “The Audit”. The music theme is usually broad enough that no contestant should fall outside of their comfort zone. In the past the themes have included “Songs from the Year You Were Born”, “Songs on Gwen Stefani’s iPod”, and this week’s theme of Motown is making its second appearance for the Top 10. Now that we know who is boring or entertaining and have a vague notion of each contestant’s Idol identity (for the most part), the audience can now offer the following evaluation: who do we still want around?

I realize that this sounds obvious, as it is the basic concept of the show. However, the voting in the third week doesn’t reflect who America likes – it reflects who America really doesn’t want around anymore. This week also allows viewers to figure out where the fanbases are located and how they have dispersed now that three contestants have been eliminated. Lastly, the contestants now must use their performing abilities and their identities to create memorable performances. Let’s look at the results.

Notably absent from the bottom three was Megan Joy (Corkrey). Her identity as the candidate of the website Vote for the Worst has helped her, as well as the fact that she has given memorable performances. These performances are not good, but they are still memorable (“caw caw” begat “influenza B” begat “For Once in My Life” making Stevie Wonder wish he was deaf also). However, one thing that I noticed during the results show occurred right before Ryan announced that she was safe. There were some girls sitting behind Simon who were yelling “no!” when Ryan asked the audience if they thought that Megan was in the bottom three. You can tell these girls were not of the snarking/VFTW mentality because they are sitting behind the judge’s table. Also, if you consider who supported Alexis, who was ousted last week, the most likely contestants they would rally behind would be Megan and Allison. Megan is not going to win, but she may be around longer than people will expect...or like.

In eighth place this week was Scott MacIntyre. The best synopsis of his performance came from Idolator:

“You know who I think of when I think of dudes singing "You Can't Hurry Love"? Phil Collins. You know who wore paisley shirts in his videos, and was very likely to pair them with things like pinstriped blazers? Phil Collins. You know who is not a contemporary artist in any way, shape, or form in 2009? Phi... oh, you know. I blame the wardrobe department for this a little bit, I admit.”

Aside from being a total Phil Collins performance, this was the third Phil Collins type performance in a row for Scott. I actually had Scott picked to be in the bottom three since yesterday afternoon, before the show, because I knew he would retread the same boring, unmemorable path. His identity saved him this week, but I can’t imagine his fanbase growing.

The surprise of this week’s bottom three was Matt Giraud. He went first, which is a less than enviable position on a two hour show, and gave a somewhat tepid performance of “Let’s Get it On”. My initial reaction was that it sounded like it could be the background music for a Country Crock commercial. Matt’s challenge right now is that he has to share his piano guy identity with Scott. Although he is getting praise from the judges for his vocals, most of the guys this season are strong on vocals so it falls back to performance and identity. The good news is that if Scott is knocked out, Matt will get a large chunk of his fanbase. The bad news: Scott had more votes this week.

Michael Sarver got the boot this week, which was not too much of a shocker. His performance of “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” wasn’t good, but it wasn’t memorably bad the way that Megan’s was. He was also plunked down right in the middle of the show before favorites like Adam, Lil, Danny and Allison performed. He failed to develop any sort of identity, instead relying on a “taking it to church” type performance which he described as “off the cuff” and “fun”, which makes me wonder what type of church he goes to on Sundays.

I am curious to see how Sarver’s fanbase will disperse, as there is no obvious analogue. I suspect some will move to Megan (the last remaining country style contestant) and Kris (because of objective cuteness), which is bad news for Matt and Scott.

So here are the rules for week 3:

*The rules from previous weeks carry over. If you fall behind and don’t make up your missed rules, you will be in trouble.

*The fanbases are starting to solidify at this point. Wooing voters will require performances that deserve being rewarded.

*If the home audience can not differentiate your week 3 performance from any of your previous performances, you will be in trouble.

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Idol Rules: Top 11

So this week's Idol theme was a Salute to the Grand Ole Opry. Sort of. Two songs were attributed to Garth Brooks, two for Carrie Underwood, and two for Martina McBride. Patsy Cline, Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, Patty Loveless and Willie Nelson rounded out the representation. I can't criticize the depth of the representation because country music is an area I am not all that familiar with so I don't want to overstate my expectations. Fortunately, for our purposes, this week isn't about song choices. This week is about Identity.

Last week, success relied on avoiding being boring while on the stage. This week that theme is extrapolated as the contestants should begin to establish an identity that the public can latch onto. Some contestants already have pretty firmly established identities. Kris Allen is The Cute One; Lil Rounds is the R&B one (racist? A little bit); David Gokey is the one with the dead wife -- he has been able to drop that part of the image and latch on to the faith leader role; Scott McIntyre is the blind one; Anoop is the overachiever. Yes, some of these identities are on the cynical side, but when has American Idol ever been about nuance?

Matt Giraud, Megan Joy Corkrey, and Adam Lambert all are in a cultivation phase. Matt's original identity was that of a dueling pianist with an R&B twist. However, Scott is leeching away at the piano identity marker which could hurt Matt in the long run if Scott sticks around too long. Megan has yet to settle on an identity of any sort on the show but is the selected one for Vote For The Worst. She has dropped "Corkrey" from her name which may not hurt her as it doesn't seem diva-like in her intentions. Right now she is moving in the direction of becoming the Bad Luck Kid which could keep her on beyond her expiration date.

Then there is Adam Lambert. I actually liked his "Ring of Fire" performance, though I can see why it would infuriate others. It immediately reminded me of Blake Lewis and his rendition of "You Give Love a Bad Name" and Daughtry's version of "Walk the Line". The major difference between those performances and Adam's is that the other performances were later in the season. I think if this was week four or later, Adam probably would not have gotten dinged so hard by the judges and the public. Adam does not fit nicely into any of the Idol boxes which makes risk-taking far more dangerous. Adam needs to define his own box before he gets too experimental.

That leaves this week's bottom three: Allison Iraheta, Michael Sarver, and Alexis Grace. Allison has almost the opposite of Adam's problem. Idol is going to try to stuff her into the "She's Only 16 and a Rocker Grrl" box. I don't think she wants either of those identities and even if she did they are not going to help her win. Age is irrelevant and rocker grrl's have had a terrible track record on this show. Not only that, but she has already played the "Alone" by Heart trump card. I'm a huge Allison fan but I fear she is not going to be around much longer.

Michael Sarver is also in big trouble. His identity has been the Oil Rig Roughneck, which I don't really expect to resonate with the Hannah Montana crowd (aka the majority of voters). Also, I think there was an expectation that Grand Ole Opry night should be in his wheelhouse and Sarver only gave a so-so performance. In other words, he should not have landed in the bottom three on his gimme week and he did. However, during tonight's result show he talked about his daughter and how much he misses her, so if he is able to cultivate that into his narrative he might be able to regain some traction.

And then there's Alexis Grace. I liked Alexis but she was in big trouble this week. "Jolene" is an awesome song but did not seem to mesh with who the real Alexis is. During her send off video they showed the clip of Alexis at her audition and Kara advising her to dirty up her image. In retrospect, this was poorly delivered advice. I think what Kara was going for was grit, which Alexis did need, but trying to get Alexis to move toward Christina Aguilera during the "Dirrty" years was not the right move. Also, this version of "Jolene" seemed almost antithetical to Alexis' previous performance of "Dirty Diana". Sadly, I think this was the right call.

So, week one is about establishing yourself as a performer. Technical precision is not as big a deal so long as you are not boring. DO NOT BE BORING. If you survive to sing in week two, you need to establish your identity. If people can't remember your name, they should be able to describe you with a phrase like "the cute one" or "the blind guy". If you can't be described in fewer than six words, you could find yourself on the seal.

What are your thoughts on this week? What songs are you hoping for during Motown Week?

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Idol Rules: Top 13

Tonight I actually rushed home so I could see the American Idol results show. I know, I know, that's probably something I shouldn't be admitting in public. But did you see last night's show? It wasn't the best show ever, but it was the first episode since Bon Jovi night in Season Six (we're in Season Eight now, folks) where I wasn't bored. This week's theme was Michael Jackson, which I think people, myself included, didn't realize the type of challenge such a theme would present until three or four songs in.

Michael Jackson isn't a singer -- he's a pop star who performs pop songs. Pop songs are usually not "singer songs", meaning that there usually isn't a range of notes and the melodies are catchy and uncomplicated. This became evident last night as the contestants tried to put their own spin on each song. Ultimately, performance counts more than technical skill, or to paraphrase one commenter I read this morning: Boring goes before bad. As a result, the contestants who were universally regarded as safe from elimination this week were ones who had more engaging performance. Those who were considered on the bubble were the contestants who tried to finagle the song but not necessarily have a good performance. Scott MacIntyre's performance fell into this trap, which led to one of the most awesome quotes from Simon: "You can be artistic, just not on this show." Because of this weird dichotomy of performance vs. talent, there was a lot of disagreement across the blogs about who would be in the bottom group and ultimately sent home. My predictions were dead wrong because I didn't consider which performances were objectively boring.

There were only two objectively bad songs last night: Megan Joy Corkrey's rendition of "Rockin' Robin" (which ended with a "caw caw" that I must have missed as I was twittering about the performance and not paying attention) and Anoop Desai's "Beat It". The latter song choice suggests another rule that contestant's should consider: If a song has served as source material for Weird Al Yankovic, it probably isn't a "singer's song" and should be avoided. However, both contestants were performing last night even though their song choices were questionable. They both hit the seal tonight, but survived.

The two who didn't survive were Jasmine Murray and Jorge Nunez. Both sang their songs adequately, though I only found one other reviewer who agreed with me that Jorge's song wasn't that bad. There was nothing particularly remarkable about either of their performances -- they just sort of sang their songs and moved on. No rocking out, no instruments to play, just standing there for the most part singing. Both were talented, but both were boring. The major problem I have with this particular elimination is that two of the four people of color in the finals this season have been eliminated and a third was on the cut line.

The results show was also intriguing, as this is the first time I think in the show's 8 year history where a results show contained more than 5 minutes of actual content. First, they introduced the Judges' Pass, where an eliminated contestant has the chance to get a reprieve if the entire judging panel thinks America got it wrong. It can only be used once and is available up until the Top 5. For starters, it creates the illusion that the departing contestant's singout is now a "Lip Synch for Your Life" type situation. I have a feeling the pass will likely be a non-factor, though I could see the judges using it at the Top 6 elimination just because five singers has always been an awkward number for the show to work with. Also, it doesn't completely eliminate the October Surprise shocker (i.e. Tamyra Gray, which still breaks my heart). There is a legitimate concern that Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert essentially have a free pass in their back pocket, but again I think that danger will happen after the pass expires.

Oh, and tonight's group sing (a mish-mash of "I Want You Back" and "ABC 123") was one of the best ever. This group sounds really good together. However, the less Danny-centric the choreography can be, the better. So much thrusting. Gross.

So what rules did we learn this week:

*At this stage of the competition, boring will lose out to bad.

*Weird Al's source material should be avoided.

*Your singout will not save you, so don't depend on it.

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Journey

"I can't believe you're going to see Journey! Please post a count of mullets--may you find yourself in a sea of fabulous hairstyles."

Last night I went to see Journey at Blossom. The ticket also included Cheap Trick (meh) and Heart (EEEEE!). We (Sarah and I) ended up in one of the distant lots and Cheap Trick took the stage as we made the long trek to the gate. By the time we got settled on the hillside, they were pretty much done. Again, no big loss: I'm completely neutral about Cheap Trick. That's not to say the people around us were also ambivalent -- far from it. Although the crowd was significantly younger than I expected (mostly thirty-somethings and their kids), many of the people in the crowd were doing those dances that middle-aged people do. The kind that cause the kids to say "MOOOOOOOOOOOM! You are totally EMBARRASSING me!" which I witnessed at least once or twice. So many forlorn children. The hair was also pretty normal, though some women were teased out to the shoulders. I only saw one mullet, but it was so perfect that I could only describe it as "professional".

After a brief intermission, Heart took the stage. I warned Sarah that I was going to probably dork out during that set, but I think she out-dorked me. Both Ann and Nancy Wilson are still looking fabulous and totally owned the stage. Overall, I think their set was the best -- I've been singing "Alone" all day.

Another short intermission and Journey took the stage. Although Steve Perry is no longer in the band, the new lead singer (Arnel Pineda) is a fine substitute. Unfortunately, he is so good that his career can be viewed as a Steve Perry impersonator. Sorry Arnel. Anyway, the first few songs were ones that I didn't recognize. The crowd didn't seem as into it either, which was surprising. That was until Separate Ways, truly one of the finer points in Journey's career. They did their big hits ("Don't Stop Believin'", "Anyway You Want It", etc.), but the rest of their set was either new stuff (Booo!) or not easily recognized.

Overall, Heart ROCKED it and the show was quite a bit of fun.

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Shania

Back at the end of April, Kristy Lee Cook was eliminated from American Idol. As Ryan Seacrest wrapped up her goodbye video package, the caremas cut to a shot of the final six. I distinctly remember what my reaction was: "Really? That's the top 6? Huh." That's kind of how I feel things have gone on the Republican side of things during this election cycle.

Now I haven't written much of anything about the presidential election and I don't really intend to beyond this post. I know who I am voting for, my mind is not going to change, and I kind of expect others to be in the same position regardless of who they are voting for. Honestly, I'm a little weirded out by those who claim to be "undecided" since, unlike the last two election cycles, the two candidates are pretty distinct from one another and there doesn't seem to be as much of a "Anyone but whats-his-nutz" mentality (at least not as much as the last few go-rounds).

But thank goodness McCain is making this election interesting, at least in the "Really? Huh." sense. First, you have him comparing Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, which has resulted in Paris going up in esteem in many people's eyes (who saw that happening?). Then you have his selection of My-Big-Fat-Karen-SVU-30-Rock star VP in Palin. I didn't see the video of the announcement until late this evening, but I honestly expected to hear a record scratching sound effect followed by the crowd going "whaaaa?" There's being a maverick and then there's queering your message. Which do you think this is? The more I think about it, the more this reminds me of the Harriet Myers debacle three years ago when both Rehnquist and O'Connor were getting replaced on the Supreme Court. It's a sort of half-assed attempt at being pro-feminism -- like lighting a bra on fire that the owner is still wearing. It's going through the motions but not understanding the reasoning for what you are doing at all.

I've never fully understood the politics of VP selection. Supposedly it is a way of balancing out the ticket to round up the most votes, but I have to wonder how much that actually factors into the voter's decision making process. At least in a positive way. With Kerry/Edwards, I don't recall ever thinking "well, Horseface and I don't see eye-to-eye on such and such issue, but Andy Griffith is there with the assist." My internal monologue is a little less polite than the guy you chat with on a regular basis. What I can see is how things can be affected negatively, such as Perot/Scottsdale or Gore/Lieberman. I don't think Biden is a bad choice for Obama, it just isn't a dealmaker or dealbreaker.

This election is getting dangerously close to absurdist and it isn't even September yet. I'm honestly expecting Shania Twain being used as the soundtrack for the rest of the McCain campaign. I don't know her politics (not to mention she is Canadian), but I'm just playing a hunch. I'm just glad I already know I don't have to go to work before 3pm on November 5th -- I'm expecting a late night on the 4th.

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Girl You Know It's True

I didn't watch the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics this year. Although I love the Olympics, I'm not so keen on parades and decided to pass on the festivities. What I haven't passed on is the controversy about a girl lip-synching some ballad during the ceremony. I love these sort of controversies because it is quite a bit of hullabaloo over something that doesn't seem that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. Though without such controversies we, as a culture, would not have had VH1's Behind the Music (probably) or Ashlee Simpson's Dance Academy.

My favorite part of the New York Times version of the story is this correction at the end:

"A Getty Images picture that appeared earlier with this article and on the home page was published in error. The girl shown was an unidentified performer in the opening ceremony at the Olympics; it was not Lin Miaoke, a nine-year-old who also performed."

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Google

I was hanging out with Sir Cucumber on Saturday and while eating dinner and watching Mr. Show he pulled up his data from Google Analytics. Basically, this site keeps track of webtraffic to and from any website that you specify, so long as the site has the special html/java code written in. This is how Ben, I mean Cucumber, found out that one of his weekly haiku entries on his gaming blog was linked by G4 (a video gaming news network) earlier in the day. Pretty nifty. As he checked again, the same entry was linked by Kotaku, a video game news blog that many gaming nerds flock to regularly (myself included).

You haven't seen "Geeking Out" until a gamer has his blog linked by another blog -- all demonstrated in line graph form.

Anyway, I decided to set up analysis for my blogs and the College Lanes site just as a curiosity. My second blog (which I haven't told anyone about yet -- be on the lookout) has yet to get any traffic, but RGD is actually getting some traffic. 5 unique hits. That's 4 people who are not me! Also, the reports tell you how people get to your site. One of the hits was from someone on Resigned Gamer. My favorite info point is what sort of web searches bring people to you.

Google the phrase "old songs kids still listen to" and see what site is at the top of the list. Awesome.

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Deceptacon

You know that John Cusack movie where he holds the stereo over his head and that Peter Gabriel song starts playing and everyone in the audience, dudes included, get all "squee!"? Big romantic moment, right? But imagine if another song were playing, like, I don't know, The Beatles' "Run for Your Life" or something. Instantly fucking creepy. Oddly, the way that romantic obsessive love and creepy stalkerish obsessive love can be conveyed cinematically are somewhat similar: standing outside the house of the object of affection in the rain, staring at their window as s/he thinks "if only..." The major difference: if there's lightning, call the cops.

Anyway, I've been thinking about that duality lately and I'm in the process of working on a mix invoking that theme. I'm calling it Coming on a Little Strong. I'm combing my iTunes right now trying to pick out songs that are super romantic/sweet/squee and then I'll comb that list for ones that, if listened to with a flip in perspective, can be...uncomfortable. Let me give you a few examples:

#1 Crush ~ Garbage
Ring of Fire ~ Johnny Cash (the link has an awesome story about the writing of the song)
Obsession ~ Animotion
Daughters ~ John Mayer (why do I have this song, anyway?)

I've got quite a bit more combing to do, as I'm still in the J's ("so here I am...with OOOOOOOOOPEN ARRRRRRRMS..."), but I'm curious what suggestions y'all might have. As you can see there is a range in terms of subtlety (I'm looking at you Animotion) and I'm sure there are some that are so obvious that I've just passed them without thinking.

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