Wednesday, November 18, 2009


It's been a weird day. Some of the weirdness and randomness was just the universe trying to say howdy but a good chunk was self-induced, though I tried to avoid it as much as possible. Truth be told, I'm still debating whether or not to hit the "delete" button once I finish writing this, but I feel like I need to get over this obstacle.

You see, today would have been my one year anniversary with Brandon. For those who may be out of the loop or who have just noticed the past tense, it's been over for a while. Officially it happened back in September, but actually the end may have been much earlier. Sometimes the "Sell By" and Expiration Dates are a bit different, y'know? I won't go into the details, partly for discretion, partly because I still don't have a complete understanding as to what happened.

Anyway, the day started with me receiving a copy of The Origin of Species: The Kirk Cameron Approved edition. I get to add that to my collection of unsolicited free religious texts. I guess it's a hobby?

We shot most of the multicam episode today but a number of technical problems, including micromanagement (not by me, for once), is forcing us to film on Monday. It's an unfortunate snag that allowed me to start feeling bummed out -- a feeling I was trying to avoid if possible. A few of us went out for dinner and drinks after the shoot which was nice, just not enough to lift my spirits fully.

As I walked past the front of Newhouse on the way to the bus stop there was a commotion on the path between Newhouse and Schine. I thought it might have been a pep rally or something since it is basketball season, but the News10 van indicated that something else must be going on. As I reached the crosswalk I heard someone call out for me. I saw Cyp, Kelly and Tim in the crowd. A number of people were holding signs including Tim, whose sign read "BALLS". This caused the Obie in me to amble over and see what the happs were. A man with a banner advertising an Ex-Gay ministry was being interviewed by a reporter as the students cajoled drivers to honk in support of gays. Good times indeed.

So I don't know how I feel about today. It's been at least two months, but I'm still sad about the situation. However, the sadness doesn't find its source in regret. I know my coming to Syracuse was a contributing factor to the failure, but I think I would regret not having the experiences I've had here with the people I have met.

This whole grad school thing is a process in improving one's self. An evolution, if you will. I'm hoping that by writing this I can now get out of whatever has been bogging me down. Thanks.

1 comment:

bee listy said...

break ups suck. i'm sending good thoughts.