Tuesday, February 26, 2008


Usually when 2 o'clock rolls around, I know I can get a quick laugh just by checking my e-mail. Oberlin's spam filter sends its report to both my account and the Lanes' account at about that time and there is quite a bit of stuff that gets reported. Recently, though, the ones sent to the bowling account have gotten somewhat bizarre. Granted, I only have the subject lines to work from but there's some "target demo" issues that I think need exploring.

"After taking this and putting on 3 inches, your girlfriend will not be able to take her hands off you."

"Change your tiny tool into a POWER DRILL"

"If your girlfriend doesn't come EVERYTIME you have sex, you need a larger schlong for sure."

"Be longer, bigger, thicker and be INVINCIBLE - wome love it."

Spelling errors aside, I can't help but imagine a bowling center with a massive piece. A building with balls; an erection that is well-endowed (monetarily speaking); I'm sure there are plenty more puns that will make you cringe and giggle.

A couple of questions do come up. First, are women size queens to the level that these ads suggest? My understanding is that things get kind of painful in a "putting toothpaste back in the tube" sort of way if there is too much of a size disparity. Moreover, gay men do not appear to be a marketing target either, despite the size queening that goes on in that community. Again, there's the same camel through the eye of a needle issue but, y'know. Have I made this awkward enough? Good.

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