Not really OK, Cupid

"We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users. The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you'd like to know."

Um, thanks. I had no idea.

"How can we say this with confidence? We've tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people's reactions to you in QuickMatch and Quiver."

Oh, so it's simply mathematical? Whew, I thought I was going to have to go through yet another body image crisis.

"Your new elite status comes with one important privilege:
You will now see more attractive people in your match results."

Wait, what? So before random stalker dude clicked on my profile, possibly by accident, I was getting what y'all consider to be the less desirable selections? And now that I've hit some arbitrary benchmark y'all have so graciously bumped me into the VIP section? That's not weird or offensive.

"This new status won't affect your actual match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But the people we recommend will be more attractive. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results."

Yeah, still kinda offensive.

Also, considering my track record with your site has been less than stellar, I'm not really brimming with enthusiasm about crashing and burning with teh pretty.

Not Ok, Cupid, not OK.